Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
