wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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