I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
