question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Still dying that you shit outside
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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