You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
