dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
