They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize