I met the friendliest cop last night
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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