I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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