If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize