My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
