she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
