Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we're making bets on your personal life
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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