Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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