I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize