mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize