So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize