did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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