She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Even my vagina gasped.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
