billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
