what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize