she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
