3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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