nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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