We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
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open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
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You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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