I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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