oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize