I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
