Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
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One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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