sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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