Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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