Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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