I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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