was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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