About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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