come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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