"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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