What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
