No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
