Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
