New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
