If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
