Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
