HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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