i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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