Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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