I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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