How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
