Kareoke will never be a sober sport
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my shit smells like andre
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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