butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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