we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
