my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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