I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
