the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
