Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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