i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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