Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
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You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
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What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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