so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
