This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My life is pants optional.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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