is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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