i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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